By HIS Grace, I Am Enough

 

There seems to be a common topic going around the blogosphere of late. The topic of feeling as if you are not enough, coming to the point where you realize on your own you are not enough, and discovering that by GOD's grace, and in HIS eyes, you are enough for HIM.

I am not going lie. The feeling of not being enough, whether it be for GOD, my husband, peers, it's plagued me my ENTIRE life.

I'm shy, and introverted. Always have been.

As a child and then a teenager, that caused me to be a target of emotionally, gut wrenching, verbal bullying.

No matter how hard I tried, I was never fully accepted for who I was. And the older I got, the searing pain and fear of rejection, caused me to retreat ever deeper into my shell.

But, praise GOD! HE has healed those injuries.

Unfortunately though, that sort of pain has left some pretty deep scars. And to this very day, I struggle with opening up with others, trusting them, and sharing the person GOD created me to be.

At times I have found myself longing to be accepted so much, that I will not express who GOD has created me to be. Who HE is training for a special purpose in life, that only HE knows about.

I lose my voice. I restrict showing how HIS spirit is working. And that stifles that great work.

That great work of being fearfully and wonderfully made in HIS eyes. The one whom HE has made me to be.

The 24 year old, sinner, that is oh so thankful to be saved by grace.

The one who fails her LORD and Savior miserably on a daily basis, and is blown away by HIS never ending mercy and forgiveness.

The one that has undergone so many trials, and by HIS grace alone, has for the most part become reliant on HIM alone.

The young woman that loves hunting, and getting her jeep muddy.

The girl that has a passion for weight lifting, running, herbal healing and eating healthy, but ain't gonna hesitate scarfing down chocolate cheesecake.

The worrier, the bossiest ever, laugh way too loud at ridiculous things, and cry at the drop of a hat kind of person.

The wife who feels as if she loves her husband too much at times, and desperately longs to be a mother.

And how wrong it is to hide whom GOD created, and is creating me to be.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14

By GOD's saving grace, I am enough.

By that grace, and HIS never ending strength, I will overcome the fear of not being enough, and the sin of hiding who HE has created me to be.

Is the LORD teaching you that you are enough for HIM? Have you ever had to overcome the pain and fear of rejection? What encouragement did the LORD bring into your life?

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel

P.S. The post by Arabah Joy, titled "Dear Underdog, How to Be On Top" heavily inspired these thoughts. As well as...

 

"Snippets Of Grace", from This Journey of Grace

 

and

 

"Following GOD as Dear Children//Coffee Series", from Authentic Virtue



So Thankful

We're on the countdown folks! We only have 5 days until Thanksgiving! Wow. Time sure has flown by us this past year. I can hardly believe it. :D

With a little under a week until Thanksgiving, I am going to spend this next 5-6 days praising my GOD and giving HIM an extra thank-you here. I have been wanting to do this, and since the "Rubies Like Ruth" blog has set it up as a challenge, I am defiantly going to give it a whirl. But, there is a catch.

My thanksgiving is to be limited to something GOD has done in my life this past year. And trust me, HE has done so much! I am eagerly looking forward to sharing with all of you some of the LORD's goodness. So, let's get started!

One of the major ways the LORD has worked in my life this past year, is in the way of my shyness. If you go back and read this post, you will understand the struggle I face with this.

It's a battle I have faced just about every single day of my life. Not truly feeling comfortable with myself, and being in constant fear of rejection. I've been hurt so many times by people that said were my friends, but only wanted something from me, or got to know me a bit and didn't like what they saw, and then pretty much ditched me.

In feeling this way, I've caused a problem in my life much worse. I've not allowed myself to develop relationships with people, for fear of being hurt again. I've not allowed friendships to blossom, or even begin. I've had to suffer from being alone, caused pretty much by my own self.

But my GOD is great! I can so see HIS hand in my life in this area over the past year. HE has helped me to let down my wall, and open up and be the person HE created me to be. I've had a much greater ease in talking to people. The LORD has brought so many wonderful people into my life to help with this. I've actually had friendships begin, and even deepen over the past year! :D

Sure I still struggle with opening up. I probably always will. But you know what? I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength! And I am so, so, so thankful for that wonderful promise! :)

So, what am I going to be thankful for tomorrow, you'll have to come back and see then. ;D

Have a wonderfully blessed day! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel

Struggles For HIS Glory...

Picture a social event in your head. Not any particular one, just whatever comes to your mind. Maybe a sporting event, a church social, or game night with friends. It seems as if everyone is having a grand time. Lots of smiles, laughing, and light hearted banter. But wait just a moment. There's a girl over there. She's in a corner, or on the bench, just sitting. Smiling quietly, and not saying a word. You walk by without stopping to say hello, thinking all is fine. You don't think twice about who or what you just saw. You keep on with the crowd your with, and forget about it.

But this girl does not forget about it. She doesn't say a word though. She just sits there, praying with all of her heart that the LORD will give her courage. Courage to speak up, and be heard. Courage to not just sit there in the corner, alone. She also has another prayer. She wants someone to stop, take their time, and just talk with her. She longs for compassion. Not stares, or passerbys. Just a kind sentence to say, I care about you, enough to get to know you. The girl is shy.

Awhile back, I wrote a post on how I have struggled with shyness, and still continue to do so. I spoke on how wrong my shyness is in the fact that it is rooted deeply in fear of rejection, and a focus upon myself. But I want to share with you something the LORD has been showing me and my sister of late, in relation to shyness.

The first thing I want to do is praise the LORD in helping me overcome this fear over the past year. It is so amazing to me to see how the LORD has helped me to open up to people and not be so afraid of rejection. It just goes to show you, GOD truly cares about every aspect of our lives, and how absolutely awesome it is to know that he works on us poor pathetic beings, and loves us so incredibly much.

With the LORD working in this area of my life, the LORD has also been showing me a very important lesson. That is the lesson of recognition, and compassion on those around me that are shy as well.

Since I have been shy most of my life, I can easily recognize when someone around me is the same way. I truly believe with all of my heart that the LORD has made me shy for this purpose. To be able to notice those that do sit in the corner. The one that is struggling and praying so hard for the courage to be able join in. Because of that fact, I can be used to help them overcome their fear, or just be there to offer a kind word.

I've defiantly NOT thought this way my whole life though. I used to think it was a curse that could never be used for anything good. But alot of prayer, and the LORD speaking to me through HIS word has changed my attitude toward it.

It just blows me away to think that the LORD can use something I have thought of as a curse, to be used for HIS great honor and glory! To help those in need, and to show HIS amazing and all powerful love! I am so unworthy of that love. And I will never comprehend how and why the LORD does work in my life, or show the love that HE has for us. But wow, am I ever thankful for it! :D

So, my point is, whatever struggles you have in your life, know that GOD cares. HE is at work in the situation. I know how hard it is to believe at times. But rest in HIS love, and know HE can use this for HIS greater glory. It has taken me my entire life to understand how this issue good be used for good. But, I'll tell you, it was so worth waiting for. :)

So how can I relate this to becoming as the Proverbs 31 woman. Read this...

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Proverbs 31:26

Have a wonderfully blessed day my friends! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel

I Am Shy...

Okay, so, yeah, where do I begin here? I have this post and thoughts swirling around in my head, that the LORD has been impressing on me lately. And I have no idea where to begin. So I guess I will go straight to the issue at hand. Here it goes... I am shy. Whew, I'm glad I got that one off my chest! (sorry, I just had to throw a bit of Dory humor in there)

Let me tell you why I am writing about this struggle. My goal in talking about my shyness, is to truly give honor and glory to the LORD. I want to share with you what HE has been teaching me. My prayer is that it will be an encouragement in you life, to seek HIM in every area of your life, even in area such as this.

So yes my dear friends, I am somewhat socially challenged. I sometimes refer to it as the "thorn in my flesh". I have the HARDEST time going up to people and talking with them face to face. I struggle just to say a polite and friendly hello at times!

When I do talk with people, I am afraid of showing my true character. That leads me to end up just sitting there smiling.

All by myself...

Aside from it truly being a character trait in my family, I have come to realize that my shyness is deeply rooted in fear. That horrible fear of man, and his opinion. That terrible fear of rejection.

Rejection is a horrible feeling folks. Believe me, I know the searing pain it inflicts, all too well.

With my experiencing it so often, I have unfortunately built around my self a shell. A shell that hides my true feelings, and strives to protect my wounded heart, from experiencing any more pain.

How wrong this attitude is! There is a verse the LORD had been showing me of late, that has shown me how wrong it is to fear man and his opinion...
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Wow! What an amazing verse! We see here in Paul's writings to Timothy, that GOD has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.

GOD did not create us as scared little rabbits hiding in our burrows, from a possible danger! HE created us to be brave individuals, for the honor and glory of HIS kingdom!

There is something else I have come to realize as well. GOD did not create man to be alone.

While HE did create us to have fellowship with HIM, and I firmly believe that our relationship with HIM is to be first and foremost, HE does not desire for us to be alone and friendless. That is why GOD created Eve for Adam. GOD created us to naturally desire to be with other people. ( Genesis 2:18-20)

There is only way for a person to truly get to know another person, and experience that wonderful gift of friendship. And that is to take the first step, and talk with the other person.

Being shy, that is VERY difficult to do. But guess what?
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

So that makes me realize something else. When I do "break out my shell" there will be some who do not like me. I will experience rejection. But as I said, the LORD commands that I am not to worry about that.

I am to live my life, that HE has wonderfully and fearfully made to HIS honor and glory. I am not to fear what man can do to me.

It will not be easy. My shyness will continue to be a daily battle and struggle.

But my GOD is more than capable of helping me overcome this. And in the end, as long as I am living my life to the fullest for my King, it will all be worth it. :D

5Of such an one will I glory: yet of myself I will not glory, but in mine infirmities.

6For though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool; for I will say the truth: but now I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth me to be, or that he heareth of me.

7And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

8For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

9And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. I Corintians 12:5-10

If you have an issue with something I said here, let me know. I love to hear your opinions on these matters. :D

Have a wonderfully blessed day! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel