No One Can Serve, As An Empty Vessel

I was able to spend some time in the mountains a little over a week ago. It was my first time ever staying not just one, but two nights away from my little guy.

I have had a few hours sprinkled here and there since he has been born, that while my parents or in-laws have watched him, I have been able go grocery shopping, attend doctors appointments, or spend the day cleaning or resting in my home alone.

But never before an over night stay from him...

I was quite hesitant to begin with. And to be honest, the thought of traveling across the state and being away from him for 2 and half days made me want to cry.

But at the same time, a break sounded AMAZING.

So with my amazing hubby's encouragement, I decided to take the opportunity I was given, and allow myself a few days mental and physical rest.

And despite missing my baby and my hubby HORRIBLY, I enjoyed myself.

I was able to let go mentally of being "mama" for an extended period of time, and just be me.

And the result of that was coming back home eager and ready to give more to my little guy, than I had in awhile.

I have always had a difficult time letting go of being "mama" and just letting myself be "Angel", and not feeling guilty. Even when it is just for a few hours at a time.

But after giving birth to Flynn, and several months of giving, giving, and more giving to my family, and not putting back and replenishing my own stores, I burned out.

I had to learn the hard way, that NO one, not even so called super moms, can constantly give, without becoming drained themselves.

Motherhood is the BEST job I have ever had. But also the most difficult.

In order for me to continue to grow and become a better mama for my little guy, I have to take care of myself.

And sometimes that means taking a step back, breathing in the rest the LORD provides, and letting someone else step in and take over for a bit.

And you know what. That is Biblical. Our LORD and Savior Jesus Christ did it Himself while living on this earth 2,000 years ago.

In Mark 4:35-41, we read about how after teaching the multitudes for days, he said to HIS disciples "Let us pass to the other side of the sea of Galilee."

And while Jesus was in the boat, HE laid down and went to sleep. HE rested. And HE prepared HIMSELF for the next task to be done.

And from time to time, I need to do just that as well. And not feel guilty.

To just take a small step away from job at hand, and REST.

"Rest and self care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel."

~Eleanor Brown

 

How about you?

 

Does rest and letting go come naturally for you? Or do your seem to struggle and feel guilty about "letting go"?

 

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!

Angel

Interrupting Anxiety With Gratitude

Confession time folks.

I struggle with anxiety.

You know. Fear. Worry. Not trusting in GOD's goodness as I should. Mentally draining, turbulent emotions at any given moment.

Yes. I struggle with it every single day.

But I came across this quote recently. It is a very simple one. But oh so powerful.

"Interrupt anxiety with gratitude"

Instead of giving into the anxiety that has clouded my day way too often lately, I am going to interrupt it, and show gratitude.

Gratitude for a baby that took 2 separate 2 hour naps. Cause that is a downright miracle...

Gratitude for seeing how excited and happy my baby is when daddy comes home from work.

 Gratitude for being able to wear my baby in a sling. He had hated it for awhile there, but now gets excited about being snuggled in it.

Gratitude for a new kitchen rug. I am loving the soft squishy feel under my feet while washing dishes.

Gratitude for postpartum hair loss, despite how I dislike it. Because I know it could be so much worse (hello slick bald chemo head two years ago). And it is a reminder of a dream come true. I had a baby ya'll.

I feel gratitude for time spent with all my babies.

 And I feel so grateful to have been able to spend a little time and energy last week setting up a wee bit of fall décor outdoors.



 

Yes. There is so much to be grateful for and to feel calm and peaceful about.

Do you struggle with anxiety? What are some ways you deal with it? Are you feeling grateful for any simple things today?

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!

Angel

P.S. The "Revive Our Hearts" blog posted about how to deal with panic attacks and anxiety recently. I highly encourage you to read it, if this is an area in which you struggle as well.

https://www.reviveourhearts.com/true-woman/blog/god-you-your-panic-attack/

How To Encourage New Parents

My husband and I were at church recently. I was sitting in our usual spot, with Flynn in my lap and Justin standing right behind the pew. We were just talking a little bit before Justin needed to get his saxophone out to play for the song service. Another member walked over to where we were and said, "Let me look at this wide eyed guy", referring to Flynn, and then said to Justin, in a joking manner "I am not going to talk to you, you don't matter anymore, its all about the baby".

It was a harmless joke really. But, I got to thinking about it.

That "joke" is kind of true.

People no longer ask how we (my husband and I) are doing, or even say hello to us at times. I mean, I genuinely cannot remember the last time some one said hello to me, or asked about how Justin and I are doing first. Flynn is always talked to first. They always say hello, and ask him how he is doing.

Never mind the fact he is 7 months old and cannot utter a word. And I am the one standing there holding him...

And it is not just us. I have noticed it with other new parents in my circle. And society as a whole.

New dads and moms don't really get any attention or interaction. Or maybe not as much as before they became parents.

And I cannot blame people for being eager to interact with a new baby, or young children. I mean, they are precious, adorable, and so sweetly innocent. Just BEGGING to be oooed... and ahhhed... over.

Especially mine. I am pretty sure he is the cutest baby ever created... ;)

But, babies, while precious and adorable require A LOT of work and even more sacrifice. And guess who is doing all that work and sacrifice?

Daddy and mommy.

Babies and children the majority of the time are well taken care of. Even when their health is compromised, they have the best of care coming from daddy and mommy.

In the form of not sleeping to feed and change said baby. Walking them hours on end to help the colicky one sleep. Comforting them when they feel bad or scared. Going through the constant mental toll of realizing you have been put in charge of a human soul, straight from the LORD Himself.

Kind of a scary fact to think about at times...

If any body needs to be asked how they are doing, or ooohed and ahhhed over. Its parents all over this world.

This job ain't easy. Yes, it is soooo... blessed. But with great blessing comes an even greater responsibility.

A responsibility that require enormous sacrifice and dying to one self EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY. (a responsibility I prayed for and am so beyond blessed and thankful to have)

If there is one piece of advice I could give to anyone (talking to myself here too...) on how to encourage new parents, it would be to genuinely ask how THEY are doing BEFORE the baby.

Maybe even offer a wee bit of praise or a tiny word of encouragement for only sleeping 4 hours last night.

But then don't be surprised if they fall over dead with shock, or stammer or blankly stare at you in their sleep deprived, mentally drained state. :D 

 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13

 

 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing

1 Thessalonians 5:11

 

As a new parent, what has someone done to encourage you? Or even if you are not a parent, what has been the best form of simple encouragement to come on some of your hardest days?

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel

Celebrating the End of One Chapter, and the Beginning of Another

Flynn's "Why on earth are we taking selfies at 7am" face...

On this day two year ago, I completed 3 cycles of BEP chemo for a stage 1a, grade 3 immature teratoma (ovarian cancer).

Words can never convey how happy I was to be done with that chapter of my life. I had been through almost 3 months of the worst nausea, fatigue, and fear of the future you can imagine.

So of course, a celebration was in order for getting through it, right?

I remember that last day, and the same chemo nurse who had been there to administer the drugs to me that terrifying first day, asking me and Justin how we were going to celebrate.

Up to that point we had not talked of celebrating. We were in survival mode. As I knew I would still be sick for quite a while after that last day.

But I began to think about it. And after the nurse walked away, a place popped into my head. Bryson City, NC. The same town and cabin we had stayed at during our honey moon 2 years prior.

I told Justin about it, and said, I wanna go back.

And he said we would.

It took us almost 2 years later. And to be honest, it was a complete surprise when Justin came to me in July this year and asked if I wanted to know what my birthday present was. And then proceeded to tell me we were FINALLY going back to Bryson City. To stay in that little cabin called Acorn Bend.

And what a beautiful stay it was...



I could not help but think of how much has changed and how much has happened in our lives since that stay in April of 2013.

 The week we started our marriage.

We had gone through SOOO... much in those four years. Adjusting to marriage, a cancer battle, problems with depression, having a baby, and just LIFE.

Fontana Dam

Fontana Lake

It was the perfect way to not only celebrate the end of one chapter, but to rejoice in the beginning of another.

 








"May I never forget the good things HE has done for me."

Psalm 103:2

 

Have there been any exciting celebrations of the LORD's good work in your life? Whether they be a big bowl of ice cream or maybe a trip?

 

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!

Angel

So Hard and Scary, But Much More Blessed

Right now I am sitting in my favorite comfy chair in my living room. I have a tall cup of hot coffee beside me, and I hear my hubby keeping our wee one occupied in the other end of the house.

So, long time no blog. I have not intended on taking such a long break in blogging. For I dearly love this little corner of the world, and had every intention of coming back to blogging regularly after things had settled down from our little Flynn's arrival.

But, truth be told, things have not settled down much since his arrival. In fact life has been more busy and unpredictable than ever. That's motherhood though.

Motherhood:

The busiest, scariest hood you will EVER walk through.

But one of the most blessed, sacred places you will ever get to visit.



Before you become a mother, you have so many dreams of what your days will look like. Or at least I did.

I pictured a mostly quiet little baby, sometimes fussy, but ready and eager to be worn in my sling all day, and me feeling blissfully happy all the time.

I envisioned me being able to keep my house spotless and all parts of my life well organized.

Yes, I knew it would be hard and not perfect all the time. But the kind of hard this has been, I could never picture.

I could not picture postpartum depression clouding the first 5 months, and it still haunting me.

I could not picture a baby with serious food allergies that have caused him to spend 90 percent (no exaggeration whatsoever) of his awake hours fussing and screaming from the discomfort of head to toe breakouts.

And with that me having to give up any form of wheat, dairy, eggs, soy, sesame seeds, almonds, and even my beloved peanut butter so I can continue to nurse him.

The past five months been a time of sacrificing and growing and learning and letting go of ALL my high expectations. It has been a time of adapting to all of the hard parts.

Including having to restart this post who knows how many times because my wee babe is not very content to chill on his own. ;)

And humility. Boy does your pride get knocked to the ground as a new mom...

Every idea of life with a baby I had, has had to be thrown out the window and into the wind. :)

And that has been hard for me. Especially since I tend to be the kind to hold tightly to my "dreams" and tend to become saddened when they do not turn out as I so longed for.

It has been a season of rearranging my priorities and hopes. And learning to cope better when it does get hard.

And I can finally say that the past few weeks have been better for me in that area.

Do I have a happy, joyful attitude when I look at that mountain of needed to be folded laundry that has been marinating on my couch for 4 days?

Ummm... Not quite always...

Am I to the point I can easily not get frustrated when I do have to stop trying to clean or blog or sew or attempt any sort of a creative endeavor after the billionth time my baby has woke up earlier than I hoped?

Not exactly.

Can I be calm when he has woke up EVERY hour from 12 am on.

You can ask my husband about that one... ;)

I do not know that I will ever come to the point of complete peace and calm with any of those all the time.

But I am learning more to lean on the LORD during those times I get so frustrated and tired. And accept that great grace HE bestows on us during our bad times.

Yes, it is sooo... hard and scary this motherhood thing.

But it is sooo... much more blessed.

And I can praise the LORD for that fact.

What has surprised you the most about motherhood?

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel

Baby Flynn Is Here

Well, you can pretty much gather the reason for my absence here in these few pics...

 

Ian Flynn

Born February13th, 2017

8:59 pm

8lbs.

21 1/2 inches long 

 

1 Day Old

 

 

1 Month Old

 Oh, how he has stolen my heart...

 

 

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!

Angel