The Quiet After the Hurricane

Right now I am siting in my living room while my little guy is quietly watching some Veggie Tales. I may still be in my P.J.s, and the extent of our productiveness has only been eating, cleaning the kitchen, and resting.

And I am not one bit ashamed at that. Because to be honest, we have long needed a quiet, peaceful day at home, just like this.

The past two weeks have been some of the busiest, most chaotic, anxiety filled, purely emotionally exhausting weeks we have gone through in a LONG time.

What has made them so chaotic you ask? Two words...

Hurricane Florence.

Our community, along with everyone within 100 miles of us were slammed head on by Hurricane Florence almost two weeks to the day.

Many of our local communities were destroyed by devastating winds and torrential rainfall that lasted for 3 days.

And then once the rains did stop, local rivers began to rise as they never have in recorded history, and flooded out many, many more homes and businesses. And today, some communities are still under those swollen rivers.

We praise the LORD that we did not receive any extensive damage to our home. Only a few shingles blew off the roof, and a TON of branches and leaves fell from the trees cluttering the yard.

Oh. We lost my favorite shade tree in my front yard.

We were also living on something of an island for almost 5 days. As every route out of our neighborhood was completely flooded over.

Right beside our house

We were without electricity and internet for 8 days. Which was a huge trial in itself having to take care of a toddler in 90 degree heat, with 100% humidity, and 6 months pregnant and already always hot from the pregnancy itself.

Trust me. There were many tears shed everyday.

 

But we were well prepared provision wise. We had a generator to run our well pump for water, and to keep our refrigerator and freezers running.

And we were even able to cook hot meals on a propane camping burner.

Breakfast of freshly laid eggs, cooked camp and eaten style, covered in nutritional yeast

Our days were spent trying to keep calm to help our little guy keep calm in the heat of the day...

Keeping the other members of our homestead safe and fed...

At one point we thought we may have to evacuate the pigs from their pen, due to rising water. But thankfully that did not have to happen. Overall, they were pretty happy with all the extra mud

The chickens spent the height of the storm (2 days) in a steel hunting dog box on the back of our truck, parked next to the house to keep them safe from any possibly falling trees. They were very happy to get back to their coop, even if it was muddy.

And for me, trying very hard not to let the chaos that comes with having to live in the coolest room of your house day in and day out, drive me to the brink of insanity.

Our living room became a camping site

 

 

But the LORD was good in all of it. And the moment I was able to get some normalcy back and the electricity and air conditioning back on, that was a beautiful moment indeed.

 

 

 

Notice the orange dot on my mailbox post? That was a marker from a volunteer search and rescue team from Illinois that came by and marked each household safe or not.

 

 



If you could still pray for the southeastern part of North Carolina, we would be very grateful. There is a LONG road of recovery ahead for so many, with homes and livelihoods destroyed. In particular for our small farmers. As so many of them are still under water.

 

Have you ever been through a hurricane or other natural disaster? What did your days during that time look like?

 

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!

Angel

Interrupting Anxiety With Gratitude

Confession time folks.

I struggle with anxiety.

You know. Fear. Worry. Not trusting in GOD's goodness as I should. Mentally draining, turbulent emotions at any given moment.

Yes. I struggle with it every single day.

But I came across this quote recently. It is a very simple one. But oh so powerful.

"Interrupt anxiety with gratitude"

Instead of giving into the anxiety that has clouded my day way too often lately, I am going to interrupt it, and show gratitude.

Gratitude for a baby that took 2 separate 2 hour naps. Cause that is a downright miracle...

Gratitude for seeing how excited and happy my baby is when daddy comes home from work.

 Gratitude for being able to wear my baby in a sling. He had hated it for awhile there, but now gets excited about being snuggled in it.

Gratitude for a new kitchen rug. I am loving the soft squishy feel under my feet while washing dishes.

Gratitude for postpartum hair loss, despite how I dislike it. Because I know it could be so much worse (hello slick bald chemo head two years ago). And it is a reminder of a dream come true. I had a baby ya'll.

I feel gratitude for time spent with all my babies.

 And I feel so grateful to have been able to spend a little time and energy last week setting up a wee bit of fall décor outdoors.



 

Yes. There is so much to be grateful for and to feel calm and peaceful about.

Do you struggle with anxiety? What are some ways you deal with it? Are you feeling grateful for any simple things today?

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!

Angel

P.S. The "Revive Our Hearts" blog posted about how to deal with panic attacks and anxiety recently. I highly encourage you to read it, if this is an area in which you struggle as well.

https://www.reviveourhearts.com/true-woman/blog/god-you-your-panic-attack/

So Hard and Scary, But Much More Blessed

Right now I am sitting in my favorite comfy chair in my living room. I have a tall cup of hot coffee beside me, and I hear my hubby keeping our wee one occupied in the other end of the house.

So, long time no blog. I have not intended on taking such a long break in blogging. For I dearly love this little corner of the world, and had every intention of coming back to blogging regularly after things had settled down from our little Flynn's arrival.

But, truth be told, things have not settled down much since his arrival. In fact life has been more busy and unpredictable than ever. That's motherhood though.

Motherhood:

The busiest, scariest hood you will EVER walk through.

But one of the most blessed, sacred places you will ever get to visit.



Before you become a mother, you have so many dreams of what your days will look like. Or at least I did.

I pictured a mostly quiet little baby, sometimes fussy, but ready and eager to be worn in my sling all day, and me feeling blissfully happy all the time.

I envisioned me being able to keep my house spotless and all parts of my life well organized.

Yes, I knew it would be hard and not perfect all the time. But the kind of hard this has been, I could never picture.

I could not picture postpartum depression clouding the first 5 months, and it still haunting me.

I could not picture a baby with serious food allergies that have caused him to spend 90 percent (no exaggeration whatsoever) of his awake hours fussing and screaming from the discomfort of head to toe breakouts.

And with that me having to give up any form of wheat, dairy, eggs, soy, sesame seeds, almonds, and even my beloved peanut butter so I can continue to nurse him.

The past five months been a time of sacrificing and growing and learning and letting go of ALL my high expectations. It has been a time of adapting to all of the hard parts.

Including having to restart this post who knows how many times because my wee babe is not very content to chill on his own. ;)

And humility. Boy does your pride get knocked to the ground as a new mom...

Every idea of life with a baby I had, has had to be thrown out the window and into the wind. :)

And that has been hard for me. Especially since I tend to be the kind to hold tightly to my "dreams" and tend to become saddened when they do not turn out as I so longed for.

It has been a season of rearranging my priorities and hopes. And learning to cope better when it does get hard.

And I can finally say that the past few weeks have been better for me in that area.

Do I have a happy, joyful attitude when I look at that mountain of needed to be folded laundry that has been marinating on my couch for 4 days?

Ummm... Not quite always...

Am I to the point I can easily not get frustrated when I do have to stop trying to clean or blog or sew or attempt any sort of a creative endeavor after the billionth time my baby has woke up earlier than I hoped?

Not exactly.

Can I be calm when he has woke up EVERY hour from 12 am on.

You can ask my husband about that one... ;)

I do not know that I will ever come to the point of complete peace and calm with any of those all the time.

But I am learning more to lean on the LORD during those times I get so frustrated and tired. And accept that great grace HE bestows on us during our bad times.

Yes, it is sooo... hard and scary this motherhood thing.

But it is sooo... much more blessed.

And I can praise the LORD for that fact.

What has surprised you the most about motherhood?

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel

Savoring These Precious Moments

 

There are two questions I get quite a bit, as I enter the last few weeks of pregnancy.

One, "How much longer?".

To which I answer, I do not know or soon, as I really do not know. I do not believe in due dates. A baby will come when they are good and ready, and I will not guess as to that time. (My motto with that, is "A baby is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to".)

Two, "Am I anxious or 'over' being pregnant yet?"

And that answer, to everyone's great surprise is no.

No, I am not "done" or "tired" of being pregnant.

No, I do not feel anxious.

 

I feel calm. And peaceful. And grateful.

Yes, I really miss boundless energy.

Yes, I miss being able to fit into any article of clothing in my closet.


Yes, I miss not having to run to the bathroom every 15 minutes.

Yes, I miss how rolling out of bed was not like being a bug stuck on its back and unable to figure out how in the world to turn over. ;)

And I REALLY, REALLY miss running and deadlifts. :)

And of course coffee whenever I feel like it.

 

But I would not change or rush these last days of my sweet babe being safe in my womb, for any comfort in this world.

As I wait for him to be brought earthside, I am savoring these moments the LORD has given me.

I have wanted to be pregnant for a long time. And to experience childbirth first hand.

Remembering that fact, why in the world then, would I want to rush an answered prayer?

I am savoring these days.

My GOD has heard my cry, and given me this child, and these moments of feeling him wiggling and stretching within. And I LOVE it.

 

Yes, I eagerly look forward to the day when I see his precious face, hold him close, and hear him cry for the first time.

But for now, I will savor these precious quiet moments, and praise the LORD for each stretch, kick, and bug stuck on its back moments. :D

 

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.

 

⁵ Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.

 

⁶ Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

 

⁷ And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

 

⁸ Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

 

⁹ Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

 

 ¹⁰ But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity.

 

¹¹ Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

 

¹² I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

 

¹³ I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Philippians 4:4-13

 

What stage of life are you in right now? Do you feel content, or the need to rush it along?

 

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!

Angel

Sticky, Busy Summer Days, and Baby!

Well hello friends and family! I pray that you are all having a wonderfully blessed day in our LORD! It has been another hot and sticky one here in my neck of the woods. But a late afternoon storm has helped relieve some of that humidity, and it has turned out to be a lovely evening. :)

 

I pray that all of you are having wonderfully full, and joy filled summer days. I know mine have been. GOD has been so good, and blessed us way beyond what I could ever imagine. :D

 

If you have kept up with this little blog over the last little bit, you know that GOD has graciously blessed my husband and I with a sweet bundle of joy to be. :D

 

And what a joyful surprise this little one has been to my husband and I! It has been my hearts desire to be a mother for 3 years now, and just when I thought for sure it would never happen, GOD placed this little one in my womb. Oh ye of little faith... :)

 

So how has this precious one been impacting our lives? Well besides immense joy, this wee one has wore my tail out. Can you say FATIGUE. Currently I can sleep for 10 hours each night, and still be in need of an afternoon nap. :)

 

I can seriously stare at this little form ALL day, and be happy...

 

Nausea has been manageable. There have been a few mornings of toilet hugging. ;) But as long as I keep food in my belly, I have been doing well, and savoring every blessed second. :D

There's a healthy, growing baby in there!

 

Other than that, life has been fairly normal. Busy with church functions, and general life, and oh yes! Spoiling these precious faces rotten... :D

 

 

 

How great is our LORD, and ever to be praised!

 

How are your summer days going? Have they been busy?

 

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!

Angel



Healing

 Right now I am sitting in my favorite chair, a warm, tall cup of liquid happiness is sitting beside me, and the sound of my hubby vacuuming out the two inches of dust that settled into my Jeep after a day riding trails with the doors off, is filling the air.

 

I feel blessed today. And happy. And content.

 

 

I am not going to lie, that has not been the case over the past month or so. I have been in such a funk mentally, it is not even funny.

 

Life has been very good. I am physically healthy. I lift weights daily, have very high energy levels most days, and hey! I even ran my first ever 5K two weeks ago.

 

I was even blessed to spend a weekend away with my hubby, at a gorgeous little B&B.

 

 

So why have I been in a funky mood?

 

Worry. Fear. And discontentment have plagued me.

 

 

I have been so worried and afraid of my cancer coming back (even after being told by the doctor, I am clear, and healthy, and have very a small chance of recurrence) to the point of making myself feel ill, and making others miserable around me.

 

Cancer took a lot out of me mentally. It took away my peace of mind, and days of not worrying about the future.

 

 

About two weeks ago, I broke down for about two days. Crying, and worrying, and even bitter anger erupted from me.

 

And I came to a realization. I needed healing.

 

 

I so desperately wanted my life to get back to normal after treatment ended last year, that I suppressed those feelings, and hid them away, until they just spilled over during an angry rage while exercising. (pretty sure anyone who drove by during that walk thought I had lost my mind with how I was waving my arms, yelling, and crying...)

 

 

I never gave myself a time of mourning. A time to miss what my illness brought and took away.

And for me that was wrong.

 

"When there is a fresh wound in your heart, keep it open until it heals. Air it out. Understand it. Dive into it. Be fierce enough to become it. If you ignore it, it won't be able to breath. If you ignore it, it will merely deepen, spread, and resurface later, wanting to release. And when later happens, it will hurt even more, because when later happens, you won't know what you're bleeding for. Remain with it until it clears, and watch the beauty pour into your openness. Remain open to feel lightness. Remain open to feel free." ~ Victoria Erickson

 

I should have allowed myself to cry over those losses. To mourn. To let GOD step in and heal my broken heart. Maybe if I had, the past few months would not have been so emotionally tumultuous.

 

 

GOD has been showing me it is okay to feel sad and even mourn what has been taken away from you in life. Our responsibility though is how we react to such losses.

 

"It's not the load that breaks you down. It's the way you carry it." ~C.S. Lewis

 

While I am by no means healed mentally from this disease, and it's gains and losses, I am feeling better about it.

 

 

I have even been transferring my nervous energy into making quilts for friends that are having babies, and for those in my church that have recently lost loved ones.

 

 

I am not 100 percent there, by any means. But GOD is at work, and I am doing MUCH better.

 

After you season of suffering, GOD in all HIS grace will restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10

 









Have you ever hidden a pain in your life to the point where it suddenly erupted and surprised you? How has GOD been helping you heal that pain?

 

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thank for stopping by!

Angel