Not Bouncing Back Postpartum

Long before I was married, and for as long as I can remember, I have had an interest in learning all I could about pregnancy and childbirth.

I remember the days of walking into the library, going to the health section, and grabbing every book I could find on the subject. And also the perplexed look on the librarians face when this 17 year old girl would gleefully place her stack of books onto the counter. And me having to say "No ma'am. I am not pregnant." Followed by her slow nodding of the head.

This passion continued even after marriage. So much so that twice I started the process of becoming a doula.

The first try was when I thought I would be unable to have children, and then having to be stopped because of my cancer journey. Followed with the second attempt and being stopped by becoming pregnant myself.

So you can say, I was ridicously excited to go through the pregnancy and labor process myself. Being able to finally experience firsthand what I had only read and dreamed about.

And I did just that. But there was one aspect of childbirth I had not read up on so much. And I certainly was not prepared for it.

Postpartum.

I genuinely did not give one thought in all my reading and "preparing" to the time after birth.

For some reason, I only had the current thought process of society ingrained in my head.

That I would have the baby. And bam! Pop back up and continue on with normal life like nothing happened.

When I was transferred to the hospital from my homebirth, after the delivery of my first son, I went from being under the care of my midwife during that stay, to the care of the hospital OB.

I had third degree tearing, plus two sulcus tear with that birth, that required a two and half hour operation. I had labored for almost 3 days. With maybe 10 hours of sleep in those three days. And you want to know what that OB told me to do to help me recover?

Walk. And to get home and move around as much as I normally would on any given day.

And you want to know what I did when I got home the next day?

I woke up cooked myself some eggs. And attempted walking around the house with that major repair down there.

And do you know what happened?

I sat back down, blacked out and woke up to the most terrifying panic attack of my life.

I fell trap to the modern lie that women are to bounce back to normal life after giving birth. The lie that pushing an 8 pound human being out a small opening is an everyday occurrence.

I mean, I grew said human being in my body for nine months. The same human being that had taken up most of my nutritional stores. After spending hours with my body working harder than ever before to push that little person out. And after my bones and internal organs shifted for that exit, I bled at least a half a quart of blood, plus more because of my complications. Not to mention the HUGE shift in hormones that happened.

Yeap. Such...an easy thing to bounce back from... *insert eye roll*

Modern society has so ingrained into women's minds that it should be nothing for all of us to get back to normal life. And hides the truth from us. The truth that going back to "normal" immediately, or even within the first year of giving birth is natural for everyone.

No one talks about the reality of postpartum, and the need to nourish the mother and her spirit, because society has taken all of the attention the mother needs, and placed it onto the baby.

But that is soooooo... wrong. And unnatural.

All through history, and in every culture, both the mother and the baby were well taken care of following birth. In most of those cultures, the first 40 days or more, were set aside as a time for the mother to rest, recover, renourish, and bond with the baby.

Not cook. Not clean. Not jump back into exercise or everyday tasks. Their only task was to eat the most nourishing foods prepared by the other women in the community, and to rest, recover, and bond with their new baby.

And in turn, the mother would be well enough to give that baby the best care possible for a lifetime.

I learned the hard way that bouncing back is not natural. And that rest and recovery is essential to being a healthy mama for my babies.

That is why I took a whole different approach to this second postpartum period.

For the first week following birth, I was either sleeping, eating, herbal bathing, or feeding my baby.

I took my amazing doulas advice, and kept myself as horizontal as I possibly could.

While pregnant, I had prepared a ton of nutrient dense, high calorie freezer meals, that only needed to be reheated. To which my husband and mom were able to fix quickly.

On my second week, I only got up a little each day. And that was primarily to sit outside in fresh air, or sit with my older boy while he played.

At week three, my husband returned to work, and I was able watch my toddler and the baby on my own for a few hours each day. And in the afternoon, it was just me and the baby while my toddler played at either set of grandparents house.

And at a month, I started to feel well enough to have them both at home all day.

I feel incredibly blessed to say, that at 8 weeks postpartum, I feel really well. Much better than I did at 8 weeks my last go around. But I still tire easily, and my moods still shift quite a bit with my still fluctuating hormones.

And with that, I still do not feel the need to jump back into life full speed ahead. I am okay with days spent cuddling my boys on the couch, while watching Veggie Tales, because I am having an extra tired day.

I do not feel the need to jump into dieting or exercising hard to lose that natural and healthily gained pregnancy weight.

Yes, I try to exercise daily. But instead of jumping back into running and cardio, I have focused more on yoga and daily walking to keep my joints loosened up and strong, and to boost my energy and mood.

And when it comes to food, I have been focusing on eating plenty of nutrient dense foods to fuel my body, and to replace the nutrient stores that were taken from my body during pregnancy, and will continue to be used while breastfeeding.

There is no cutting calories right now. I did that the last go around, and paid dearly for it. I truly believe that cutting back on food was one of the biggest factors that lead to my postpartum depression.

I sadly realize, that most women today, do not have the resources to be able to rest as they need in the postpartum period. And that deeply hurts me.

My purpose in sharing all of this is to hopefully spark a conversation, that will eventually lead to a change in modern society.

That all women will be mentally prepared for the postpartum period, and given a much needed and special time to rest and recover from childbirth. A time focused on her well being, when she so desperately needs it.

How about you?

Were you prepared for the postpartum period? What surprised you the most? And if you could change anything about that time, what would it be?

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel