"Many are the plan's in a mans heart, but it is the LORDs purpose that prevails".
Proverbs 19:21
Time for a birth story!
If you have been following this blog for awhile, you know the story and all the unexpected events that surrounded the birth of my first son. Well, this second baby's arrival was no different.
So much happened that I could not have foreseen, and definitely did not desire to happen. But I praise the LORD that me and baby are safe. And besides being exhausted (hello sleep deprivation) we are recovering very well.
So, lets get into it with a bit of backstory from the pregnancy itself.
We decided at the beginning of this pregnancy to forego another homebirth.
I so badly wanted to have a another try at a homebirth. But with the history of a third degree tear plus two sulcus tears, I was terrified of repeating the previous experience of an emergency transfer immediately after birth.
So I decided upon a local group of midwives, and to give birth in a hospital.
The entire pregnancy was full of so many unexpected events.
After sudden bleeding appeared, making me believe I was losing my baby, I was diagnosed with a sub chorionic hematoma at 10 weeks. And at his 20 week ultrasound , we were told he had a "spot" on his heart, meaning he could have a birth defect of chromosomal abnormalities(to which he has neither).
Then there was constant fatigue, nausea, and no rest with having to take care of my toddler.
At 36 weeks, I began to get higher blood pressure readings at my appointments.
It is not unusual for me to have higher readings in an office setting, due to post cancer treatment nerves and a bit of PTSD.
So after the 38 week appointment with another high reading, we purchased a blood pressure monitor to check it at home.
It ran a bit higher than normal at home that week. But nothing like it was in the office.
At my 39 week appointment, it was very high. So high, the midwife wanted me to go to triage to have it monitored for a few hours and have labs run.
Obviously I did NOT want to do that. Because I knew that once I knew I was being monitored, it would sky rocket, and I had it in my mind I would be induced right then and there. To which I REALLLLLLYYYY... did not want.
But at the same time, we knew that we could not take this lightly. So we agreed to in office blood work and a 24 hour urine sample to check for protein.
The blood work results came back within a day, showing normal levels. But with the urine sample having to be collected over 24 hours and not being able to be turned in until Friday morning, and then Christmas that Monday and Tuesday, it would be several days before the labs would analyze the results.
So for four days, I tried my hardest to keep positive that all was normal and just enjoy the holiday. But the entire time I was desperately praying that labor would start that weekend, (the 23rd was my due date), and at the same time mentally preparing myself for the possibility of an upcoming induction.
Christmas came, and went, full of tons of contractions, but nothing regular or strong enough to keep labor going.
Wednesday morning arrived and at 8:15am, the midwife gave me a call. The urine sample showed high levels of protein (the highest normal range is 300, mine was 500), confirming the beginnings of preeclampsia. An appointment to come into the office to have my blood pressure checked again was scheduled for 11 am.
I burst into tears right there.
How did I get preeclampsia. Considering I did everything under the sun they say to avoid it. Exercising daily, eating healthy, and I did not gain more weight than is recommended.
I knew that one my biggest fears for labor would have to happen. I would have to go through an induction.
I called my husband to relay him the news and to have him arrange care for Flynn, and then I called my doula.
I spent about 45 minutes on the phone with my amazing doula. ( I cannot recommend getting a good doula enough...). She helped calm fears, and brought me back down to a mostly calm and clear minded state. She explained what an induction might look like, and listed all of my choices and rights for what was about to take place. She gave me all the info I needed to make an informed choice.
After getting off the phone with her, I quickly loaded up mine and Justin's bags, and tearfully left my first baby for the last time as him being my only baby.
Ya'll. That was hard...
With my mom riding with me, so she could drive Justin's vehicle back home, we arrived at the midwife office. My blood pressure was checked. And it was sky high because of nerves, as once in the hospital and I calmed down it went back down some.
The midwife did a physical exam, revelaing that I was 2 cm dilated, but my cervix had not fully softened.
She suggested to be induced by cytotec, followed by Pitocin. And then arranged for us to head over to the hospital to get checked in.
Justin and I headed out, and once again I called my doula to inform her of what was going on. She once again reviewed all of our options and rights, and then suggested that we go get some lunch before she came, as well as before we head into the hospital, to fuel us and to give us a few more moments to process what was happening.
And we did just that.
It was very difficult for me to process the emotions of giving up my hope of going into labor on my own, and submitting to an induction.
I had to come to a place of surrendering my fears, and realizing this was a necessary medical intervention. I was going to become very ill, and possibly put my life and his life in danger if I did not give birth soon. And given my history with my first birth, it might be another week before I went into labor on my own.
But even that knowledge did not lessen the disappointment and even heartbreak of giving up my dream of having a medical intervention free birth. You can say I underwent a quick grieving process.
Justin prayed, and we headed in. We checked in, and we were led to our room, and my doula arrived shortly after.
I was set up with a hep-lock, a continuous fetal monitor, and some blood work was taken to check on my liver enzymes, because of the preeclampsia.
Following the blood draw, and a good crying session because I don't do blood draws and IV insertions well, the cytotec was administered, and so began the induction process.
Cytotec is given four hours to work. It works by softening the cervix. We went with this option, versus the typical 12 hour cervadil, because I was already "overdue". And giving that fact that I was a bit dilated and effaced, and it was my second baby, the midwife believed my body would kick into gear fairly quickly.
I was worried the cytotec would be intense. But honestly it was nothing.
It caused steady contractions after two hours. But nothing that caused me to have to focus too hard.
I even told my doula she could leave for awhile.
After the four hour mark, I was checked, and I was found to be 4 cm dialated, and 70 percent effaced.
Then began the Pitocin.
For the first 2 and half hours on 2 ml of Pitocin, the contractions felt very much the same as what they were with the cytotec.
I was completely coherent, talking in between, and not needing much focus.
Then after the two and half hours, I was bumped up to 4 ml (Pitocin can be given up to 20 ml).
Right after they bumped me up to 4, I told Justin to lay down and take a nap, and I decided to get in bed and rest as much as possible, as I had been bouncing on the birth ball most of the time.
Probably after 15 minutes of the dosage increase, and 5 minutes after Justin and I laying down, I felt a pop in my abdomen. It startled me at first, and then the thought that my water had broke came across my mind.
I told Justin, who was laying on the window couch that I thought my water had broke, and to help me get to the bathroom.
I got out of the bed, but there was no gush or even trickle of amniotic fluid.
What did happen was a sudden BIG time contraction.
I was thinking okay, maybe things are getting a bit more serious now...
I couldn't make it the few steps to the bathroom before another one hit.
I got into the bathroom and told Justin, this is it.
I pulled my hair up in a pony tail and bam! Another one came.
And I yelled for Justin to call the doula to get there now.
It was on then.
Almost immediately, I went into labor land. That shift of the mind that takes place in active labor. Where for me, that means complete focus on the task, I cannot talk sentences (only one word at a time, or yelling how much it hurts), I do NOT want to move from whatever spot I am in, and I just want it DONE.
At some point I remember someone asking me if I wanted to get in the shower, but I don't remember the act of getting in there. I only remember being in there, and holding onto Justin during rushes.
My doula arrived within 20 minutes of Justin calling her. But I do not remember her getting there. I just remember her offering me water, helping Justin hold me, and gently stroking my head.
If you have ever been through an unmedicated labor, who know how intense it is. But you also know that you do have moments of reprieve. But Pitocin induced, unmedicated labor, is a whole other game.
The only thing I can compare the contractions to are the contractions you go through in transition during normal labor. But they are ALL like that.
I remember thinking over and over, "I can't do this" and then thinking "YES! That means its over soon!". Because feelings of self doubt are normal during transition. But these thoughts happened with each rush.
I even remember at one point begging everyone in my head for medication (I could not verbalize it at that point).
There were feelings of exhaustion and just wanting to sleep. Waves of nausea that could not be relieved. There were moments of me yelling at poor Justin that I could not do it. And even a few times where the pain during a rush was so intense, I started to bite down on him or bang my head.
Praise the LORD, I only had to endure that for a little over an hour before I began to feel the urge to push.
I was somehow able to relay that urge, and everyone managed to get me out of the shower where I had been hunkered down since things picked up, and into the bed for the pushing phase.
Most of this phase was on my hands and knees. I tried pushing side lying for one rush, but did not care for it.
I also was not coached during pushing, unlike with my first delivery. I specifically made it known that I wanted my body to take over and dictate when it was time to push.
And my body did take over. It was such a powerful feeling having my body bear down on its own. And much more enjoyable than my last delivery where I was made to push till the count of ten.
It was like that over and over. A rush would come, and my body would bear down with me roaring each time for about an hour and a half.
I remember at one point really thinking there is no way I can do this. During most of the labor, I would look to Justin, and in his eyes to help me get through it. But for some reason at that moment with that intense thought, and with me yelling that I couldn't, I looked in my doula eyes, and she calmly said I could. And that simple act gave me the last bit of energy I needed for the final pushes.
On the next push, I felt one, then a second rush of fluid, as my water broke.
And then I heard my midwife say not to be alarmed, but there would be more people coming into the room, because there was evidence of meconium.
Another rush and then push came, and that lovely "ring of fire" announced that I truly was at the end.
Another push and I felt my baby slide down and out some more. But because I was so tired, I paused.
And then everyone started yelling "Keep going Angel! He's right there!"
With a final effort, my baby slid from my body, onto the bed and I was able to pick him up. Only 3 hours from when active labor began.
Instantly, all the pain was gone. It was just me and my baby for those few seconds.
The only downside to his delivery is that because of the meconium, he had to be taken away quickly to be suctioned. But thankfully he was only taken a few steps from me, while Justin walked with him, and my doula stayed with me. I was even able to see him the entire time.
After he was suctioned, he was brought quickly to me, and we were able to enjoy that special skin to skin time, that I was unable to get with my first baby.
So much did happen with this birth that I did not want. But even in all those unexpected, unwanted moments, so many good blessings did happen.
Like making it completely through with no medication, just as I wanted.
That I only experienced 2nd degree tearing, and did not have to be separated from my baby. I had 3b tearing, plus two sulcus tears with my first delivery, that led to me having to have a two hour operation. Which took me away for over 3 hours.
That my water did not break until the very end.
And the entire 72 hour hospital stay was a pleasant one, filled with so many caring nurses and staff. A much different story from the last time.
Yes, it was much different than I planned. But I am now 100 percent okay with how it turned out.
And hey, I am not going to lie. I feel pretty powerful and strong for surviving a Pitocin induced labor, with no meds.
Mama's. How did each of your birth stories differ? Or were they very similar?
Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel
The blood work results came back within a day, showing normal levels. But with the urine sample having to be collected over 24 hours and not being able to be turned in until Friday morning, and then Christmas that Monday and Tuesday, it would be several days before the labs would analyze the results.
So for four days, I tried my hardest to keep positive that all was normal and just enjoy the holiday. But the entire time I was desperately praying that labor would start that weekend, (the 23rd was my due date), and at the same time mentally preparing myself for the possibility of an upcoming induction.
Christmas came, and went, full of tons of contractions, but nothing regular or strong enough to keep labor going.
Wednesday morning arrived and at 8:15am, the midwife gave me a call. The urine sample showed high levels of protein (the highest normal range is 300, mine was 500), confirming the beginnings of preeclampsia. An appointment to come into the office to have my blood pressure checked again was scheduled for 11 am.
I burst into tears right there.
How did I get preeclampsia. Considering I did everything under the sun they say to avoid it. Exercising daily, eating healthy, and I did not gain more weight than is recommended.
I knew that one my biggest fears for labor would have to happen. I would have to go through an induction.
I called my husband to relay him the news and to have him arrange care for Flynn, and then I called my doula.
I spent about 45 minutes on the phone with my amazing doula. ( I cannot recommend getting a good doula enough...). She helped calm fears, and brought me back down to a mostly calm and clear minded state. She explained what an induction might look like, and listed all of my choices and rights for what was about to take place. She gave me all the info I needed to make an informed choice.
After getting off the phone with her, I quickly loaded up mine and Justin's bags, and tearfully left my first baby for the last time as him being my only baby.
Ya'll. That was hard...
With my mom riding with me, so she could drive Justin's vehicle back home, we arrived at the midwife office. My blood pressure was checked. And it was sky high because of nerves, as once in the hospital and I calmed down it went back down some.
The midwife did a physical exam, revelaing that I was 2 cm dilated, but my cervix had not fully softened.
She suggested to be induced by cytotec, followed by Pitocin. And then arranged for us to head over to the hospital to get checked in.
Justin and I headed out, and once again I called my doula to inform her of what was going on. She once again reviewed all of our options and rights, and then suggested that we go get some lunch before she came, as well as before we head into the hospital, to fuel us and to give us a few more moments to process what was happening.
And we did just that.
It was very difficult for me to process the emotions of giving up my hope of going into labor on my own, and submitting to an induction.
I had to come to a place of surrendering my fears, and realizing this was a necessary medical intervention. I was going to become very ill, and possibly put my life and his life in danger if I did not give birth soon. And given my history with my first birth, it might be another week before I went into labor on my own.
But even that knowledge did not lessen the disappointment and even heartbreak of giving up my dream of having a medical intervention free birth. You can say I underwent a quick grieving process.
Justin prayed, and we headed in. We checked in, and we were led to our room, and my doula arrived shortly after.
I was set up with a hep-lock, a continuous fetal monitor, and some blood work was taken to check on my liver enzymes, because of the preeclampsia.
Following the blood draw, and a good crying session because I don't do blood draws and IV insertions well, the cytotec was administered, and so began the induction process.
Cytotec is given four hours to work. It works by softening the cervix. We went with this option, versus the typical 12 hour cervadil, because I was already "overdue". And giving that fact that I was a bit dilated and effaced, and it was my second baby, the midwife believed my body would kick into gear fairly quickly.
I was worried the cytotec would be intense. But honestly it was nothing.
It caused steady contractions after two hours. But nothing that caused me to have to focus too hard.
I even told my doula she could leave for awhile.
After the four hour mark, I was checked, and I was found to be 4 cm dialated, and 70 percent effaced.
Then began the Pitocin.
For the first 2 and half hours on 2 ml of Pitocin, the contractions felt very much the same as what they were with the cytotec.
I was completely coherent, talking in between, and not needing much focus.
Then after the two and half hours, I was bumped up to 4 ml (Pitocin can be given up to 20 ml).
Right after they bumped me up to 4, I told Justin to lay down and take a nap, and I decided to get in bed and rest as much as possible, as I had been bouncing on the birth ball most of the time.
Probably after 15 minutes of the dosage increase, and 5 minutes after Justin and I laying down, I felt a pop in my abdomen. It startled me at first, and then the thought that my water had broke came across my mind.
I told Justin, who was laying on the window couch that I thought my water had broke, and to help me get to the bathroom.
I got out of the bed, but there was no gush or even trickle of amniotic fluid.
What did happen was a sudden BIG time contraction.
I was thinking okay, maybe things are getting a bit more serious now...
I couldn't make it the few steps to the bathroom before another one hit.
I got into the bathroom and told Justin, this is it.
I pulled my hair up in a pony tail and bam! Another one came.
And I yelled for Justin to call the doula to get there now.
It was on then.
Almost immediately, I went into labor land. That shift of the mind that takes place in active labor. Where for me, that means complete focus on the task, I cannot talk sentences (only one word at a time, or yelling how much it hurts), I do NOT want to move from whatever spot I am in, and I just want it DONE.
At some point I remember someone asking me if I wanted to get in the shower, but I don't remember the act of getting in there. I only remember being in there, and holding onto Justin during rushes.
My doula arrived within 20 minutes of Justin calling her. But I do not remember her getting there. I just remember her offering me water, helping Justin hold me, and gently stroking my head.
If you have ever been through an unmedicated labor, who know how intense it is. But you also know that you do have moments of reprieve. But Pitocin induced, unmedicated labor, is a whole other game.
The only thing I can compare the contractions to are the contractions you go through in transition during normal labor. But they are ALL like that.
I remember thinking over and over, "I can't do this" and then thinking "YES! That means its over soon!". Because feelings of self doubt are normal during transition. But these thoughts happened with each rush.
I even remember at one point begging everyone in my head for medication (I could not verbalize it at that point).
There were feelings of exhaustion and just wanting to sleep. Waves of nausea that could not be relieved. There were moments of me yelling at poor Justin that I could not do it. And even a few times where the pain during a rush was so intense, I started to bite down on him or bang my head.
Praise the LORD, I only had to endure that for a little over an hour before I began to feel the urge to push.
I was somehow able to relay that urge, and everyone managed to get me out of the shower where I had been hunkered down since things picked up, and into the bed for the pushing phase.
Most of this phase was on my hands and knees. I tried pushing side lying for one rush, but did not care for it.
I also was not coached during pushing, unlike with my first delivery. I specifically made it known that I wanted my body to take over and dictate when it was time to push.
And my body did take over. It was such a powerful feeling having my body bear down on its own. And much more enjoyable than my last delivery where I was made to push till the count of ten.
It was like that over and over. A rush would come, and my body would bear down with me roaring each time for about an hour and a half.
I remember at one point really thinking there is no way I can do this. During most of the labor, I would look to Justin, and in his eyes to help me get through it. But for some reason at that moment with that intense thought, and with me yelling that I couldn't, I looked in my doula eyes, and she calmly said I could. And that simple act gave me the last bit of energy I needed for the final pushes.
On the next push, I felt one, then a second rush of fluid, as my water broke.
And then I heard my midwife say not to be alarmed, but there would be more people coming into the room, because there was evidence of meconium.
Another rush and then push came, and that lovely "ring of fire" announced that I truly was at the end.
Another push and I felt my baby slide down and out some more. But because I was so tired, I paused.
And then everyone started yelling "Keep going Angel! He's right there!"
With a final effort, my baby slid from my body, onto the bed and I was able to pick him up. Only 3 hours from when active labor began.
Instantly, all the pain was gone. It was just me and my baby for those few seconds.
The only downside to his delivery is that because of the meconium, he had to be taken away quickly to be suctioned. But thankfully he was only taken a few steps from me, while Justin walked with him, and my doula stayed with me. I was even able to see him the entire time.
After he was suctioned, he was brought quickly to me, and we were able to enjoy that special skin to skin time, that I was unable to get with my first baby.
So much did happen with this birth that I did not want. But even in all those unexpected, unwanted moments, so many good blessings did happen.
Like making it completely through with no medication, just as I wanted.
That I only experienced 2nd degree tearing, and did not have to be separated from my baby. I had 3b tearing, plus two sulcus tears with my first delivery, that led to me having to have a two hour operation. Which took me away for over 3 hours.
That my water did not break until the very end.
And the entire 72 hour hospital stay was a pleasant one, filled with so many caring nurses and staff. A much different story from the last time.
Yes, it was much different than I planned. But I am now 100 percent okay with how it turned out.
And hey, I am not going to lie. I feel pretty powerful and strong for surviving a Pitocin induced labor, with no meds.
Mama's. How did each of your birth stories differ? Or were they very similar?
Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel
Post a Comment
Well hello there! Thanks for stopping by! I LOVE to hear from you all out there. Just please remember to keep everything kind and Christ-like. In the words of that wise papa rabbit, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all". :)