Flynn's Birth Story, Part 1: Labor

Foreword:
I want to be honest. My birth story has been very difficult for me to share. Some complications that occurred during delivery and the days following, left me with some trauma. That trauma led to some depression and unnecessary self guilt. But I believe it is time to let healing take place, and so it is time to share.

This post will be split into two parts, as there is so much to it.

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 19:21

For as long as I can remember, I have had an interest and passion for learning all that I could about pregnancy and birth. And way before a husband was even in my future, I had my entire pregnancy and birth planned out.

I would be super healthy through my pregnancy, with no complications. I would give birth at home, with no meds, or interventions. It would be swift, because naturally I would be completely relaxed and we all have heard how relaxation is the key to a quick delivery. And of course I would have perfect post birth bliss, full of uninterrupted bonding time in my own home, with my new baby and hubby.

But, as with many things in life, GOD had another plan.

For the most part, my pregnancy was fairly easy, with no major complications. After the first trimester my energy returned and most days I felt normal and healthy. I was even able to exercise up until one week before labor. And the only reason I stopped at that point was because I was put on modified bed rest due to high blood pressure.

Which I am fairly certain was attributed to how after I had one high reading at the midwifes office, I was so nervous and anxious each time it was checked there. (It ran normal when I checked at home...)

So, I feel blessed that turned out the way that it did.

As for how my labor and delivery turned out, it went a wee bit (okay a lot more) differently than I had planned...

My due date was February 2nd. And at forty weeks, I knew the countdown was on for me to be able to give birth at home in NC.

The next few days went by, with no signs of labor and I had another appointment with the midwife. She told me to start some natural induction techniques at home. Starting with lots of time with the hubby, pineapple galore, and spicy food. And if that did not work by the start of 41 weeks, to begin using a breast pump to try and get things going. And then if that did not work by 41 and 5 days, to start castor oil.

Forty one weeks came, and still no sign of labor. Instead of starting the pump on that day, we decided to wait a day or two to see what would happen.

The next day I began to experience some light, but not regular contractions. They stopped by the evening. So, we began with the pump that evening to see if we could get things going.

The next morning I experienced some bloody show, and contacted the midwife who instructed me to try out the pump again and see what happened. After a morning of that, I began to experience contractions at about 10 minutes apart, with that continuing into the night.

It was Sunday morning at that point and with contractions being still at about 7-10 minutes apart and painful as they were, church was skipped that day. Through the entire day the contractions continued and began to come closer together, and longer in duration.

By that Sunday evening they had gone to about 6 minutes apart. And by that time, it took quite a bit of concentration to remain relaxed through them.

In order to keep things going I kept changing up positions. I bounced on the birth ball, laid in bed, walked around the house, and spent a good bit of time in the shower.

Bouncing away on the birth ball, with a blanket on my lap, as I would be freezing in between rushes

And to help me cope, I had my hubby sing hymns and read scripture through each contraction to help me not to focus on the pain.

Things continued just like that, with the contractions continuing to grow closer.

By 5am Monday morning, we contacted the midwife and informed her they were about 4 minutes apart, and I began to have to use every bit of my focus to work through them.

The midwife and her assistant arrived that morning around 7. But low and behold, not long before she arrived, they spaced out and began to not be as intense.

She examined me at that point and said I was between 4 and 5 centimeters dilated. We talked and agreed to for her to strip my membrane, and begin some homeopathics to help things get back going again.

I really did not want any sort of intervention, but we knew this was a wise decision given how tired I was getting and how long this had been going on already.

Within an hour or so of the membrane stripping, and homeopathics, contractions picked right back up at between 3 and 4 minutes apart. And finally to about 2 minutes apart late in the afternoon. And it continued like that all day.

I always thought I would be able to easily relax during labor. But there is no amount of preparation you can make to deal with that sort of work.

Thankfully though, I had a rock star of a hubby who was by my side every second of it praying and singing, encouraging, and helping me work through the rushes.

What began to discourage me through the entire process is how tired I was, and how much I just wanted to sleep. I have always been one who needs a ton of sleep, and not having much the days prior, I was struggling...

By around 6 or 7 that evening, I was checked again and was only 7 centimeters dilated. I was offered to have my water broke, and we accepted due to how exhausted I was becoming.

I was then allowed to get into the tub. I was initially excited about the tub,( and I think I ran to it...) but thinking back now, I don't know that I cared too much for it. Yes it helped to relax me between rushes, as during this entire time I would just start shivering and feel SO COLD between them. But during a rush, I would get SO HOT. And being in warm water just did not feel like the best thing when I was already burning up.

Contractions began to be so close after getting in the tub, it felt as if there was no break. During this point I was sure it was never going to end, and I would eternally be in labor. ;) And feelings of self doubt began to crowd in.

Which, hello, I knew that point would come, as that is transition, and the most intense part of labor. But I just could not recognize it at that moment.

I remember screaming at Justin I could not do this, and him looking at me and saying that I could, and that it was not much longer before I would see my baby.

And then I heard myself make a sound. I had been making quite A LOT of noise the whole time, but this one was different. It was a deep, guttural noise from within, and I remembered how in all the birth stories I have read, most of the women remember making this deep grunt and how not long after, the baby came.

And not long after, I felt the urge to push.

But, that is all I am going to share for now as my sweet baby is announcing his hunger, and this post is getting very long... :)

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel