It's Okay, If I Don't Have It All Together

Currently I am sitting in my favorite corner of my house. The August sun is streaming through my windows. My baby boy is down for his afternoon nap. I just fixed a tall cup of cold brew coffee and almond milk, and I am seriously contemplating fixing me a slice of cookie cake, left over from my birthday this week. :)

When we last met in this little corner of the web, my son was only 8 months old. He is now 18 months. And he has changed so much in that course of time.

He has gone from just barely crawling at that time, to walking, talking, playing, and learning more than I can possibly imagine! He can recognize most of the primary colors, and he even surprised me this week by counting along with me!

As I have shared before, he still suffers through multiple food allergies. And despite eliminating most of those allergens from his diet, he deals with serious eczema breakouts, that make him so itchy and miserable at times, that both me and him have spent quite a few of our days in tears.

But, thankfully we have been able to get more help and treatment in that area for him.

I have changed as well in these past 10 months.

Not long after my last post here, I had a breakdown of sorts.

Off and on since my sons birth, I would experience periods of high energy, followed by weeks of crippling fatigue.

I put it off as "new motherhood". And nothing more.

"Obviously", I needed to adjust, and get used to this new life.

Cause motherhood is hard ya'll. There is no getting around that fact.

But I came to a very low point mentally. I was sooo... drained mentally, physically, and emotionally.

At a follow up oncologist appointment, I relayed my feelings to a nurse, and she was very, very concerned about how mentally low I really was.

She said I needed to schedule an appointment with my general practitioner right away. To which I did.

I was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression, and after further testing, it was discovered I have severe hypothyroidism.

I praise the LORD that we live in a day and age, where we have medicines and ways to treat these type of sicknesses. And that I have been able to utilize them.

My thyroid function, with the aid of synthetic thyroid hormone, is back to where it should be.

I do not have as many low energy days. And the depression is mostly gone, due to medication for specifically treating it. And fixing the thyroid problem, greatly aided in with it as well.

And I am slowly finding a new confidence in my role as a mother and wife.

I am learning that it is okay, if I don't "have it all together" most days.

I am learning that I will never be a perfect mama.

No one can be that. No matter how hard we try in the way teach our child, feed them, or nurture them.

We are all perfectly, imperfect human beings, in desperate need of a Saviors help, each and every second of our life.

And with that fact, I have been able to live these past few months in joy, simply being a wife and mama on a daily basis.

Its not always easy. Its a lot of hard. And I still get discouraged.

But I have been able to spend my days cooking, cleaning, and teaching my little guy the wonders of the world, with the confidence that I am right where I am supposed to be. And that I have a great GOD to call upon, when it gets really hard.

How have you dear folks been? What is the LORD teaching you in this moment right now?

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!

Angel