Healing

 Right now I am sitting in my favorite chair, a warm, tall cup of liquid happiness is sitting beside me, and the sound of my hubby vacuuming out the two inches of dust that settled into my Jeep after a day riding trails with the doors off, is filling the air.

 

I feel blessed today. And happy. And content.

 

 

I am not going to lie, that has not been the case over the past month or so. I have been in such a funk mentally, it is not even funny.

 

Life has been very good. I am physically healthy. I lift weights daily, have very high energy levels most days, and hey! I even ran my first ever 5K two weeks ago.

 

I was even blessed to spend a weekend away with my hubby, at a gorgeous little B&B.

 

 

So why have I been in a funky mood?

 

Worry. Fear. And discontentment have plagued me.

 

 

I have been so worried and afraid of my cancer coming back (even after being told by the doctor, I am clear, and healthy, and have very a small chance of recurrence) to the point of making myself feel ill, and making others miserable around me.

 

Cancer took a lot out of me mentally. It took away my peace of mind, and days of not worrying about the future.

 

 

About two weeks ago, I broke down for about two days. Crying, and worrying, and even bitter anger erupted from me.

 

And I came to a realization. I needed healing.

 

 

I so desperately wanted my life to get back to normal after treatment ended last year, that I suppressed those feelings, and hid them away, until they just spilled over during an angry rage while exercising. (pretty sure anyone who drove by during that walk thought I had lost my mind with how I was waving my arms, yelling, and crying...)

 

 

I never gave myself a time of mourning. A time to miss what my illness brought and took away.

And for me that was wrong.

 

"When there is a fresh wound in your heart, keep it open until it heals. Air it out. Understand it. Dive into it. Be fierce enough to become it. If you ignore it, it won't be able to breath. If you ignore it, it will merely deepen, spread, and resurface later, wanting to release. And when later happens, it will hurt even more, because when later happens, you won't know what you're bleeding for. Remain with it until it clears, and watch the beauty pour into your openness. Remain open to feel lightness. Remain open to feel free." ~ Victoria Erickson

 

I should have allowed myself to cry over those losses. To mourn. To let GOD step in and heal my broken heart. Maybe if I had, the past few months would not have been so emotionally tumultuous.

 

 

GOD has been showing me it is okay to feel sad and even mourn what has been taken away from you in life. Our responsibility though is how we react to such losses.

 

"It's not the load that breaks you down. It's the way you carry it." ~C.S. Lewis

 

While I am by no means healed mentally from this disease, and it's gains and losses, I am feeling better about it.

 

 

I have even been transferring my nervous energy into making quilts for friends that are having babies, and for those in my church that have recently lost loved ones.

 

 

I am not 100 percent there, by any means. But GOD is at work, and I am doing MUCH better.

 

After you season of suffering, GOD in all HIS grace will restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10

 









Have you ever hidden a pain in your life to the point where it suddenly erupted and surprised you? How has GOD been helping you heal that pain?

 

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thank for stopping by!

Angel

This Is What I Have Been Training For

Justin and I decided to spend our Tuesday afternoon working on our newly purchased land. There was litter that needed to be picked up, and two trees hanging over the road, to be cut.

 

We both started out with the trash detail, and then headed to the trees.

 

I stood, watched, and waited until he had the first tree cut down.

 

While he cut the branches of the tree, I began to pick up the branches, and toss them into the woods.

 

While I paused to allow him to cut more branches off the tree, a thought hit me.

This is what I have been training for.

What have I been training for, you may ask? Life my friends, life.

All those long hard hours lifting weights, and running laps, paid off. I was physically able to spend the afternoon helping my husband with some pretty serious, physical labor. Lifting logs, picking up and throwing branches felt so easy!

So, the next time your sweating it out, and feel like giving it up, don't. You never know what the LORD may call you to do the next day of your life. Maybe it's helping an elderly person carry their groceries, run errands for a sick neighbor, carry a child on your hip or in your body, or maybe throw some branches around to help your hubby out. Being physically ready should be a priority for us all.

What has exercising helped you accomplish lately? Any work going on around your place?

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel

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Ticking Right Along...

Can you believe it? School has only been in a month and I am already suffering from a cold. I kinda expected it's arrival. I know my immune system has never been that great when it is surrounded by constant sneezing, and being subjected to wiping runny noses for two days a week. But I was hoping it would be a good while before I was plagued. Oh well...

Enough complaining. I am on the mend, and feeling much better than Saturday when the germ first slammed me. The tiredness has lingered, but I'm finally able to breathe without my mouth wide open! :D

Other than that, life has ticked merrily along here. There has not been anything real exciting going on lately. Just the usual comings and goings of life.

Grocery shopping...

 

And the almost impossible task of trying to keep the house in order. Especially the kitchen. No matter how hard I try, it looks as if there was an explosion of flour, dishes, and open cabinets when I get in there. Used to drive my mom crazy. ;P

My K-3 class has been a joy thus far. I have 3 students, all girls. They are a pretty quiet bunch. I'm thinking that they could all be classified as introverts, the way they would rather play on their own. It's making my job fairly easy. They all listen to stories quietly, obey quickly, and are generally sweet. I feel blessed to be working with this group. :)

My chickens are doing good. We found the first egg about 2 weeks ago.

We have 5 roosters and two hens. We tried to sell the roosters, to no avail. So, we have decided that after this bag of feed is gone, they will become "feed" to us. :)

 

 



I recently incorporated bike riding into my exercise routine. I try to ride 2-3 days a week. It has been an enjoyable change of pace, and so peaceful getting out enjoying the back country roads.

 

 

 

Bow hunting season for deer has begun. So some time has been spent practicing, and setting up the stand and shooting lane.

 I have been hunting one time so far. There has not been anything large enough to shoot just yet.

 

I might be heading on a trip soon. My family will be heading to West Virginia in about two weeks, to see some family up there. I haven't seen any of them since the wedding, and quite a few are in poor health.

 

I'm looking forward to a possible change in scenery, but not leaving my hubby behind. He will not be able to go because of a church function that week, and work. We have only spent one night away from each other since we said "I DO", and the thought of staying 4 days and 3 nights away, is definitely NOT a happy thought.

 

 

Oh, did I mention the weather turned cold? It did. Temps have been in the 60's all week, and it has been rainy. Not great for outdoor fun, but perfect for indoor fun. Like wearing these warm buddies of mine. :D

 



 

What have you been up to this week?

 

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!

Angel

Lifelong Commitment to Health

 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31

I’ve been going through a transformation in my life over the past year. I have begun a journey that has led to a lifelong commitment to health. I have resolved to become more aware of the type of nutrition I am giving my body, as well as Justin’s.

Ever since high school I have been very self-conscious of my weight. I gained quite a bit between the ages of 15 and 17, and began to hate how I looked. The January after I turned 17, I said no more and put myself on a strict low calorie diet, and started exercising daily.

I lost the weight and loved how I felt. And ever since then, I have exercised off and on, and have not allowed myself to gain much weight.

In December of 2012, Justin proposed to me. Knowing that I was going to be standing in front of A LOT of people in a few months for my wedding, made me very determined to be “slim and trim”.

While I did lose weight, and was quite pleased with how I looked on my wedding day, I look back now and realize I did not go about my weight loss the healthiest of ways. I exercised harder than ever before, and cut way back with meals, focusing on a very low calorie diet…

The first few months of marriage, I began to eat a little more. And unfortunately I cut back on exercise. With that decision, the scale started to creep up and I started feeling sluggish. So, I once again upped my exercise and cut back on calories, never once giving a thought to what my body truly needed.

When Justin and I were first engaged, I started charting my menstrual cycle. I have continued with that habit into our marriage. With that being said I knew very well how high and long my post ovulation basal body temp would be. In about our third month of marriage, that temperature stayed higher and longer than I had ever known it to. I began to suspect I was pregnant…

With that thought I knew that a healthy lifestyle was going to be critical in order for me to have the most natural pregnancy that I have always desired. I immediately began researching the best foods for pregnancy and decided to drastically change my diet. I wanted to provide my child with the best start to life as possible.

But within a few days, my temperature dropped, and I found out I was not pregnant.

More than likely, I will never know if I was pregnant until the day I reach heaven’s shores. But I do know one thing, I will NEVER be caught off guard again when it comes to taking care of my body, for my future children.

As I said at the start of this post, I have become so much more aware of what food I fuel mine and Justin’s bodies with. I now no longer see food as a “calorie” but as fuel for our days, and whether or not it will be helpful or harmful to our bodies.

I’ve switched to primarily organic fruits and veggies, as well as meat. I’ve done a ton of research into herbal remedies, and use them on a daily basis.

It’s not been the easiest thing in my life, beginning this journey of a lifelong commitment to health. But it has been a joy. Joyful and exciting, because it gives me a greater sense of awe and wonder at how the LORD has provided everything that we need to sustain our bodies in nature.

It’s also been exciting in the fact that no longer has exercise become a chore to lose weight, but a pleasant habit that makes me feel great! No, I don’t enjoy it every day, but I know that it is what is best not only for my body, but for the children I hope one day to bear.

I do realize that no matter what steps I may take to keep my body healthy, anything can happen when it comes to child bearing. I have just become more determined than ever to take care of this holy temple the LORD has blessed me with, and to do so for HIS honor and glory alone.

 

¹⁹ What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? ²⁰ For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 

 

So what are your thoughts on health?

 

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!

Angel

This post has been linked to The Modest Mom Blog's Modest Monday's

 

15 Miles And Work

Good day friends and family! I pray that you are all having a wonderful day in our LORD. It's been a rainy one here in my neck of the woods. Not the best of weather to be spending time outdoors, but fantastic for catching up on indoor chores. :D

So, life has been incredibly busy here to say the least. My schedule has consisted of work, church, work, church, and yet again... more work. I've not been home all that much the past two weeks. But I'm not complaining. I'm incredibly thankful for all the opportunities the LORD has blessed me with to serve. :)

Camp has been going full blast with HUGE groups. Our largest group so far has been about 300 and the smallest 90. I think in the past three weeks I have worked there, there was only one day that I had a full 30 minute break between 10 and 6:30. So yeah, as you can pretty much guess, things have been hopping around there. :D

I've been washing eggs at my neighbor's two days a week. That's on Tuesday's and Thursday's. On Tuesdays' I usually wash about 50-60 dozen eggs, and on Thursday's, about 100 dozen. They bought home about 250 more chickens this past weekend, so it looks as if my work load will double in the next few weeks. :P

My K-3 teaching job started this past week. That was quite the interesting day. As for how that is going to go for the year, I am not totally sure. I only had one day to get to know the kids, and let's just say, some of them were lucky to leave there with their lives. ;) In all seriousness, it was the first day, and I know how excited they were to be there with other kids. I just have my job cut out for me in the training aspect of things. But, I'm up to the challenge. :D

I've also had a few opportunities for fun. Friday evening I was able to attend a service that our church held at the home of some elderly, shut in members. That was such a blessing to see how much they enjoyed hearing GOD's word, as well as music playing of all sorts. Following that we had a pizza dinner back at the church, as well as a game of kickball. :D

Saturday was a different sort of fun. I spent the first part of my day walking 15 miles. A community not far from us holds personal endurance challenges every Labor Day weekend. One day you walk 15 miles, the next you paddle the same distance, or bike. Then the next day you swim 5 miles. I did the first one and walked.

Oh so tired and rough did I look, but boy did it feel great!

It was my second time participating in the event. I loved every bit of it! Just being outdoors, getting some exercise, and spending time with friends was such a blessing. It makes my sore back feel worthwhile. ;D

Sunday I had to work at camp. Which would have highly upset me, had I not been able to spend some time with a good friend. She is the one I mention time to time on here, that moved last fall. She is such a blessing to be around! And I dearly love talking with her. She is such an encouragement, and I really wish I could have spent more time with her. :( But I am thankful for what time we had. :D

You know, even though my life is incredibly busy, I truly am thankful for it. The LORD has so blessed me with the strength and ability to work hard, and it would be a sin for me not to use it. And even with all the hard work, the LORD always sees fit to allow a blessing , to squeeze in between it all. And for that, I am so thankful. :D

She eats not the bread of idleness... Proverbs 31:27

Have a wonderfully blessed day everyone! Thanks for stopping by!
Angel